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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Who Am I?

Who is
Harold Paz?

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful, smart, goodlooking, and charming loner who was slaving away in a sea of blue cubicle walls in a barren wasteland, speaking scripted words and taking in calls for impatient aussies.

30% Chinese. 20% Espaniol & 100% PINOY! A pinch of italian seasoning mixed with spanish salt and poured in a Filipino pot.

I'm the kind of guy that makes you wish you never had one.! I'm a man Being a man, I'm many things, but I'm not a therapist, ATM, financial planner, teacher  and certainly not a doormat. I do not tolerate disrespect of myself, my time or my property. However, what I am is a man on a journey. I view my life as a long drive: I'm in the driver's seat, I know where I'm going and why I'm going there. Before I can allow someone into the passenger seat, they need to know two things. First, this odyssey continues with or without them. I learned a long time ago that one must always remain true to one's self and forge an independent path. Thus, I will not change my goals, values or ideals for anyone but myself. Secondly, if they don't like where our adventure leads us, then they must have the courage to let me know so that we can part with mutual respect and understanding as opposed to the bitterness and animosity caused by allowing the discontentment to fester. I consider myself outgoing, sensitive (high emotional intelligence), adventurous, adaptable and funny. There's many more adjectives but this little box cant encapsulate all of them without seeming wordy and ego-centric. I realized at a relatively early point in my life that I want to live without regrets. I don't want to look back at my teen years when I'm collecting social security and think to myself, "shoulda woulda coulda".

I am a strange person, I am always at my best when things are worst :) I am quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, I am not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. I am extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and I allow only a special few into my inner world. Like a wary animal, I am cautious and mistrustful of those I do not know until I "sniff them out". I may not have many friends, but the ones I have are true and loyal, like myself. I'll risk much for those I consider worthy of friendship, but cares little or nothing for those I consider lower than myself. Some call it selfishness, but in reality it's selectivity. There is no shade of gray. Once you've gained my trust, you've won ME forever--unless you hurt me in some way.

Then I can become mean, vindictive, and will attempt to get even. Never, never lie to me, or I'll cut you off. I am a passionate lover, and can also be jealous or possessive. I like to be alone with my thoughts as much as I like to share others company.They say I am enigmatic and mysterious. I am not interested in the sayings of others which is why my relationships run so deep. I relish privacy and can take a secret to the grave. I accept what others find unacceptable because It is ok for me to be scared. I tend to become narrowly focused upon my own specialized interests and may not have much to say or communicate outside that field. I have great intuition and I am susceptible to the feelings of others. While other people may forgive and forget, I believe in striking back when I am hurt. Once I love, I will defend and protect.

I can be the most passionate, magnetic all-consuming partner you have ever known. :) Don't even think about arousing my jealousy, either intentionally or thoughtlessly. I could lash out violently, becoming angry or overly possessive. Accuse me of being faithless or toying with your feelings and i will take it as an insult.. i am not that weighty,. although I can be...

I'm a decent guy who likes to laugh. I deal with heavy issues on my own and at my leisure and prefer to just focus on enjoying myself and the people I'm with. No drama! I don't like mind games and although I'm polite and well-mannered I have a hard time with fake people or people who are rude or irritable. I don't judge, I just know who I like to hang with.

I've reinvented myself to meet challenges, to keep up with the changing times or simply to break out of a rut. While many people fear change, I embrace it. I've stood up to the world with family, with friends and on my own. I've bared my soul and have come out a better man. Facing the unknown tests the innermost depth..

" I am more than the blue walls that surround me!"


I'm Harold Quero Paz. And I flaunt it.

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